SCRIPT: No Laughing Matter [November 13, 2018]

SCRIPT: No Laughing Matter [November 13, 2018]

I'm getting serious!

Sadie: Morning! Are you staying for badminton practice after school today?

Joe: (mumbling something unintelligible)

Sadie: Sorry! I didn’t quite catch that!

Joe: (again mumbling something unintelligible)

Sadie: What’s the matter with you? Are your lips stuck together? People usually open their mouth when they speak!

Joe: Fine! There you go!

Sadie: Wah! What’s happened to you? Where are your two front teeth? You look ridiculous.

Joe: Thank you very much. It’s no laughing matter.

Sadie: Come on. Give me a big smile.

Joe: I said it’s not funny. I knew you would mock me. I told Mum I didn’t want to go to school this morning, but she made me.

Sadie: Well, you can keep your mouth shut all day.

Joe: Again, thank you very much.

Sadie: So, what happened to your teeth? Did you pull them out so you could leave them under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy?

Joe: If you make one more hilarious comment, I’m going to walk away.

Sadie: Sorry. I’m sorry. So, what happened?

Joe: Well, when I was a kid at primary school - I think I was nine or ten - I had a bike accident.

Sadie: I didn’t know that.

Joe: You didn’t know me then. I didn’t live round here. We didn’t go to the same school.

Sadie: Right. Okay. Go on.

Joe: I was riding my bike outside our block of flats and hit a lump of stone lying on the pavement. I hadn’t seen it. The bike stopped, but I didn’t. I went flying head first over the handlebars and landed face down on the concrete.

Sadie: Were you badly hurt?

Joe: What do you think? Of course I was! I wore glasses in those days and they broke and cut my face. There was blood everywhere. You see this little scar here above my eyebrow? Two stitches. But the worst was, I had smashed my two front teeth.

Sadie: Oh, no!

Joe: A passerby sent for a ambulance, and the next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed with my mum and dad sitting at my bedside. I’d had a concussion. After a couple of days, they let me go home, and the following day I went to see a dental surgeon. He couldn’t do anything about my teeth. They were completely hoyed . So, to cut a long story short, he fitted me with two dental crowns.

Sadie: My mum’s got a crown. One of her back teeth. It came off last year when we were on holiday.

Joe: That’s what’s happened to mine. I was biting into an apple last night and bingo! It’s a good job I didn’t swallow them.

Sadie: That’s what Mum said.

Joe: I’ve got an appointment with the dentist tomorrow morning and he’ll stick them back in. In fact, I’m going to wear this mask today and tell everyone I’ve got a bad cold, so nobody else will laugh at me. And no, I won’t be staying for badminton practice!

This article appeared in the Young Post print edition as
SCRIPT: No Laughing Matter [November 13, 2018]

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