A dog's dinner

A dog's dinner

‘A dog’s dinner can be a delicious meal for your pet, or something entirely different.

Doris:  I’m going to the cinema with a couple of friends from football tomorrow night.  Do you want to come with us?

Jake:  What are you going to see?

Doris:  My friends are great Tom Cruise fans.  We’re going to see ‘The Mummy’. 

Jake:  Oh … definitely not!  I went to see it last week, and it’s a dog’s dinner from beginning to end.

Doris:  Really?  But Tom Cruise doesn't make bad films.

Jake:  Oh, yes he does!  ‘The Mummy’ is an absolute mess.

Doris: What’s wrong with it?

Jake:  It can't make up its mind what sort of film it wants to be.  One minute it’s a horror film, the next a romance, the next an adventure movie and the next a typical Tom Cruise action pic.  It's all so confusing and boring. 

Doris:  I thought it was a horror film.  I read somewhere that the original ‘The Mummy’ made in black and white in the 1930s is one of the scariest movies ever.

Jake:  Sorry!  You are in for a massive disappointment if you are expecting to be scared.  This ‘Mummy’ wouldn't scare a five year old kid.

Doris:  Oh wow!

Jake:  For the first ten minutes, I thought I was watching a war movie.  Tom Cruise running around in a war zone in Syria casually killing other men and showing off how  brave he is.  I thought I was watching the wrong film.

Doris:  I hate war films.

Jake:  Exactly.  And the film’s attitude to the women characters is just a mess.  The film has two female characters, and neither are convincing.  One is the evil title character, and I just didn’t believe in the role. The other woman is supposed to be a clever archaeologist, but she’s there just to be rescue by Mr Cruise. 

Doris:  I thought that approach to women in movies had disappeared.

Jake:  Not Cruise’s character’s presented all the way through as superior to the secondary female lead character.

Doris:  You are really putting me off.

Jake:  You know I’m a great movie buff, and ‘The Mummy’ borrows ideas from other better movies.  There isn't one original idea in the whole film. 

Doris:  Did you stay until the end?

Jake:  Oh, I never walk out of a movie.  I always give it a chance.  But this one nearly made me break that rule.  I got tired of all the chasing, the fighting, the messy story, the lack of scares, the attitude to women - the whole lot.  It was one big dog’s dinner.

Oh ….. there is one good thing about it - it’s less than two hours long, which is quite short these days.  If it had been any longer I might have broken my rule and walked out.

But that’s just my opinion.  Your friends might think it’s okay,  but I doubt it.  Even the biggest Tom Cruise fans will be disappointed with this. 


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