50 thoughts you have watching the first episode of The Defenders on Netflix

50 thoughts you have watching the first episode of The Defenders on Netflix


(L-R) Luke Cage, Stick, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones and Daredevil must team up if they're going to defeat this enemy.
Photo: Netflix

1. Does Phnom Penh even have a sewage system that spacious? Are sewers meant to be that clean?

2. Who knocks a killer out of the way to save someone, but doesn’t keep an eye on said killer? You may have an Iron Fist, but you don’t seem to have bright instincts.

3. Ooh, first fatality and we aren’t even two minutes in.

4. Oh, hey! It’s Loras Tyrell and Nymeria Sand from Game of Thrones! (I hadn't seen Finn Jones and Jessica Henwick in Iron Fist.)

5. This guy has a remarkably strong voice for someone seconds from death.

6. Okay, Danny, chill.

7. Oooooh! New opening sequence! 

8. Oh, Jessica, you need to drink some water.

9. Why do they even bother with handcuffs on Luke Cage? Yep. See?

10. Foggy! Wow, are you using hair gel?

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11. Awww … Matt. Still struggling with your dual identities, huh? You do make a fine lawyer, though.

12. And a suit and tie has to be more comfortable than a skin-tight Daredevil costume.

13. Oh, for goodness sake. Karen, Matt. Matt, Karen. You like each other. How difficult is that?

14. Private planes are such a waste of money and so environmentally harmful.

15. Sometimes it seems like all heroes have trust issues, abandonment issues, problems with guilt, or trouble accepting help from those who care about them. So dramatic.

16. I wonder if a Sand Snake can take on the mysterious killer from the beginning of the episode.

17. Sigourney Weaver! SIGOURNEY WEAVER!

18. Wait, she’s at a clinic. Oh, she probably only has a few weeks to live.

19. Yep.

20. Even dying, she’s a boss. I already like this show more because Sigourney Weaver is in it.

21. You really should get the glass on your front door fixed, Jess.

22. Why would you call her to tell her to drop a case she was just approached for? If you hadn’t, she’d have gone on ignoring it.

23. Awwww … Claire and Luke. She wrote him letters in prison? Sweet.

24. Mariah Dillard is still councilwoman, then? Well. Isn’t that nice...

25. Misty!

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26. I’m not sure I can buy Karen just … becoming a journalist. It’s not like it’s easy. Also, NO newbie just gets her very own office straight off the bat. What bull … hogwash.

27. “…we should figure ourselves out, or something.” Karen, you’re subtle.

28. How much can you flirt over a friendly cup of coffee? Apparently, a lot.

29. Oh, Jess is back on her computer. Get ready to fall down the rabbit hole.

30. Malcolm is such a nice friend.

31. I love when Jessica does that preppy ditz thing. Never not fun to watch.

32. One really good thing about these shows is that every supporting female role is still a strong female character. Would you want to mess with Misty Knight? Didn’t think so.

33. Oh, Misty, you can’t just bring Luke to a crime scene where something sketchy is going on and expect him to just look out for a kid who lost a brother as a result of what happened at that crime scene.

34. Never quite understood the concept of confession.

35. Man, you just want to give Matt a hug.

36. “Purgatory is a place for the dead, Matthew, not the living. There’s nothing wrong with letting people go. Good advice, Father. Good advice. Must be something to confessions after all!

37. HOW did they find that many white pigeons to match Sigourney Weaver’s white coat?

38. No good can come of Madame Gao showing her face.

39. Nothing good also ever comes from the words “final phase”.

40. Ooh, Sigourney just ordered Madame Gao to finish feeding the pigeons. She must be the evil boss lady.

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41. Oh, this kid is Candace’s brother. The girl who could have solved everything at the end of Luke Cage but got killed before she could. No wonder Luke feels obliged to check in on him.

42. Hmmm … filthy apartment, fancy toys. This never adds up. The kid will probably die later in the season.

43. Do all sketchy apartment buildings in NYC have flickering lights in the hallway?! This show needs to come with a seizure warning.

44. Jessica sneaking into an apartment … probably going to find contraband or a dead body.

45. Ah. Explosives. LOTS of explosives.

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46. Sigourney is one of the most sophisticated villains on any screen ever.

47. Private jet and THEN a private helicopter to go into the city? Danny, that’s a little excessive.

48. No earthquake in a superhero show is ever going to be a natural disaster. It’s a Sigourney-quake for sure. Yep, she’s not shaken at all.

49. Elektra is alive?!

50. Aaaaand episode one ends with all hell breaking loose. Of course.


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