Star Wars love letters: I’m not short circuiting, this is droid love

Dearest R2,

I’m having the most peculiar feeling. There is this warm, tingling feeling in my chest whenever I think about you. I had thought I was short circuiting but Luke said there was nothing wrong with me and that I was only in love. At first I didn’t believe him. After all, he’s only a human. What does he know about droids? However, the more I thought about it, I realised he might be right. You are the only one who has never told me to shut up or switched me off, though I have to admit I still really don’t see why they didn’t appreciate my wise opinions and solutions. Besides, if it wasn’t for you picking up and rescuing my head in the Battle of Geonosis, I may still be shooting jedi and would not be able to function properly, and I am really grateful for your help. And I was worried sick when you were wounded in the Death Star Assault.

I know I called you a stupid short-circuit, a stupid lug, a noisy brute, an overweight blob of grease, a near-sighted scrap pile, a malfunctioning little twirp etc. And I know I also said that I didn’t like you – you have been known to make mistakes and all the troubles we have ever encountered were your fault. However, I’ve never actually doubted you and I really love you.