How would you persuade a group of aliens not to invade Earth?

How would you persuade a group of aliens not to invade Earth?

Every Wednesday we ask our Brain Game contestants one interesting, thought-provoking or just plain quirky question. Their answers will be published anonymously in Young Post. Then readers can vote for their FAVOURITE answer. We will eliminate the contestant with the LEAST votes every week until we have a winner.

The ultimate Brain Game winner will receive a pair of annual Gold Passes to Ocean Park.

The contestants

Contestant 1

Hello … it’s me. (Special thanks to Adele here.)

What do you mean? (Justin Bieber, man.)

Oh, I think that I found myself an alien ! (Thanks, Omi.)

If you do want to take over the Earth, I would say: “Give it [back] to me, I’m worth it.” (Thanks, Fifth Harmony).

While I love our pop music, it’s probably not to your taste. I’m not sure they have Taylor Swift in any other galaxy.

Why would you bother using so many resources, wasting so much stuff, and risking your life to come all the way across the universe, just to take over our tiny little planet? You want heat? Mercury is the best place for soaking up the sun. If you want somewhere a little colder, you could take Neptune or perhaps Pluto. (I’ll even give you a helpful pointer not to try to take Jupiter or Saturn because they are gas planets.)

Coming here is a waste of time and energy, and you’re not even getting anything important by doing so. It’s just not worth it.

Anyway, music aside, in the near future, there will be nothing left of this planet, as everything is being destroyed anyway, by none other than humans ourselves.

There are huge environmental problems here, and by the time you get around to invading Earth properly, there will be nothing worth taking left. Why don’t you take some other planet that has more to offer? I’m sure you can’t wait to get conquering – so, off you go!


Contestant 2

If aliens actually existed, it would make sense for them to want to invade Earth, although they haven’t ... so far.

The human population is growing at an alarming rate. And we can’t even provide food for the people already living on this planet. So, it would not be a good idea for aliens to come here, because it would mean even more mouths to feed.

So how do we prevent them from invading our homeland? We could try to contact them by sending out radio signals inviting them to the International Space Station. There, we could organise some peace talks, and I would ask them why they wanted to invade Earth. If they wanted to take over our planet because it seemed inhabitable, I would try to make them understand our problems and tell them that we are trying our best to solve them.

If they wanted to rule Earth because their planet had been destroyed, I would work with them to build an extra space station beside ours.

If they wanted to get rid of us because we have polluted the universe too much, I would introduce some special measures to reduce pollution. There’s no motivation like the extinction of the human race to get people to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

If they are still determined to attack us after all our efforts to bring about peace, I would take all the aliens for a “tour” of the Milky Way Galaxy, find a black hole and push them into it. This wouldn’t even hurt them, because according to Einstein’s laws, they would simply be frozen in time indefinitely. Isn’t that cool?

*In case of dispute, Young Post reserves the right to decide the result

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