Don't quit your day job, Dad

Don't quit your day job, Dad

Dad jokes are hotting up Tumblr and Instagram - some of the lamest, most facepalm-worthy gags you've ever read. Thanks, dads, for your sense of humour, and so much more. Happy Father's Day!

"Dad, I'm hungry."

"Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad."

We don't blame you if you cringed. The only people who would find this actually funny are dads, who are easily recognised by their uniform of polo shirt, cargo pants, tennis socks and New Balance sneakers.

To celebrate the one day dedicated to our dads, we asked our readers to tell us their favourite dad jokes. Here are the best ones …


"I really like the word 'constantly'. I use it … umm … all the time!"

James Hurley, 18, International College Hong Kong

 

"Dad, what time is it?"

"It's time for you to get a watch."

Jennifer Tang, 17, Carmel Secondary School

 

"You know, I'm glad I know sign language. It's rather handy."

Sharon Cheng, 15, King George V School

 

What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice? A popsicle!

Joy Pamnani, 15, Po Leung Kuk Ngan Po Ling College

 

"Dad, is this pool safe for diving?"

"It deep ends."

Akhtar Konza, 16, HKMA David Li Kwok Po College

 

Dad: What's the difference between a fish, piano and a pot of glue?

Me: What?

Dad: You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish because the scales aren't melodic!

Me: But what about the glue?

Dad: I knew you'd get stuck on that.

Liam Fung, 12, Chinese International School

 

My sister and I were sitting at the table with my dad when he said: "I've only made two jokes in my life, and they're both sitting right in front of me." Ouch!

Michelle Fasching, 16, Maryknoll Convent School

 

A father hurt his fingers and went to see a doctor.

Dad: When this heals, will I be able to play the piano?

Doctor: Yes, you will be fine.

Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to play an instrument!

Limbu Laxmi, 17, Delia Broadway

 

During Thanksgiving …

"Dad, how does the turkey smell?"

"Through its beak."

Jocelyn Ng, 17, Peddie School (US)

 

Me: I'll bring a full tray of coffee for the party!

Dad: I think I'd prefer cups. It's hard to drink from a tray.

Sharon Lee, 17, St Paul's Convent School

 

"I had some seafood and now I'm eel."

Yasmin Subba, 18, Hong Kong University of Science and Technology

 

"My wedding was so beautiful that even the cake was in tiers.

Winnie Lee, 18, Community College of City University

 

Me: I have a lot of your genes.

Dad: Really? I bet they don't fit.

Minnie Yip, 16, Diocesan Girls' School

 

"Dad, I'm freezing!"

"Go and stand in the corner."

"Why ... ?"

"Because it's 90 degrees over there!"

Nola Yip, 17, Diocesan Girls' School

 

Dad: Your toaster oven was delivered today.

Me: Cool!

Dad: No, it only does warm.

Marianne Yap, 17, Hong Kong International School

 

Me: Sorry, Dad, I'm running 15 minutes late.

Dad: Run faster

Ema Farjana, 17, HKMA David Li Kwok Po College

 

This article appeared in the Young Post print edition as
Don't quit your day job, Dad

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