Treat your children as children, not as a tool

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Teenagers rely on their parents to communicate, so that they in turn learn how to build healthy relationships

UNICEF HK |
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Communication between parents should be more advanced than a child’s toy made of a plastic cup and some string.

Since I was small, I’ve felt that my family is different from others. We don’t have family days or share many warm moments. My parents rarely communicate at home. When I was young, I thought this was what happened in other families. However, when I talked to my friends in primary school, I realised that it was just our family.

For most families, it’s normal to go out and enjoy yourself. But our family just stays at home. Most people think of family dinner as a very normal even. Yet, for me, it’s a luxury: my father, sister and I usually have dinner first, then it’s my mother’s turn.

My parents have been treating me as a messenger. This wasn’t a problem when I was at primary school, but since starting secondary school, I have so much school work, and so very little time to rest. It was annoying to have to pass on messages. Later, it got even worse – even if they were less than a metre apart, they still wanted me to pass messages from one to the other. Sometimes they’d tell me off if I got the message wrong. I was tired and annoyed, but had no choice.

After taking part in the Unicef video camp, I decided to try to express my thoughts through multimedia. It helped me express my thoughts and feelings more clearly than using only words. I also learned a lot of video shooting skills. After listening to my stories and feelings, the facilitators helped me produce the one-minute video, Mediator.

I hope that through this video, I can tell parents that building a happy family is of utmost importance to children. Parents are very important to children’s growth, and lack of communication between parents could lead to problems in child care, or even childhood trauma.

Unicef HK’s “Make A Video” competition gives young people a chance to express themselves through video. The project is co-organised by Hong Kong Arts Centre’s IVFA, with support from Hang Seng Bank and Young Post. Check out the videos here. Email your feedback to [email protected]

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