Cheap villains are just cheap thrills for cheap violence

Cheap villains are just cheap thrills for cheap violence

I don't dig on vampire shows ... or zombie shows ... and here's why.

zombie.jpg

Disgusting, sure, but not really all that entertaining.

Every major network offers some programme (and often spin-offs of the original) where it's an epic showdown between humans and some mythical beast. Almost all of these programs suck, each for their own reasons. First off:

Zombies

I'm not including iZombie in this list, because it has a radically different concept - namely that society isn't trying to survive violent attacks from zombies. The rest of them though - The Walking Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, the upcoming Z Nation - I'm sorry, I just don't buy it.

The zombies are too slow (or at the very least, slow-witted) to be a real threat. If zombies are attracted to sound, then just put a giant blender at the bottom of a deep, deep hole, and your zombie apocalypse is over, just like that.

See? How am I supposed to be afraid of that?
Photo: Jonathan Wong/SCMP

I get that these shows try to hold up a mirror to society, and people will tell you that zombies are just a metaphor, but please, pick a better metaphor. The only thing zombie shows really do is satisfy blood lust. Most people are too squeamish to tune in regularly to see a show where people get carved up with chainsaws or barbecued with flamethrowers, but with zombies, anything goes. After all, they're a mindless enemy that can only ever be an enemy.

The human dynamics on Walking Dead are interesting enough, but the zombies actually make it worse.

About the only thing worse than that would be if someone actually made something with zombies and vampires together. Oh wait, they already did that. Which brings me to...

 

Vampires

Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. It's not vampires themselves that is the problem. I mean, what's not to like about a person who stays up late and sleeps all day? But unless the TV series has a cameo from Count Chocula, I don't really wanna see it. 

Now there's a vampire I can get behind.

But it seems that almost every vampire show out there goes something like this: super beautiful / cute vampire boys and girls who are all mopey and whiny about life, and when threatened they suddenly snarl and the camera shakes and their super powers come out on display.

Pictured: Totally not scary vampires.

First off, why should they have super strength and stuff, just because they drink a little human blood? We regular humans are completely full of blood - around five litres of it - so by that logic, we should be tougher than any vampire.

But it's not the whininess or the cheap fight scenes that I hate the most. The problem is that vampires are simply a pure enemy. Because they're just an enemy, we don't have to try to understand them. We don't have to try and consider the world from their perspective. We don't have to get in their minds, or if we do, it's only so that we can kill them more efficiently. It's a fantasy escape from a world where we are told we should try to empathise with our enemies, and not be so quick to lash out in judgment and destruction.

But consider the world from a vampire's perspective for a moment. They live forever. FOREVER. As Prince said, that's a mighty long time. Think of how much smarter you've become in the last 12 years. Now imagine how much smarter you would be in another 1200 years.

To vampires we are here one day and gone the next, born, aging, dead, buzzing about with the relative lifespan of a mosquito ... except of course that they're the mosquitoes since they're trying to suck our blood. But why wouldn't they? How could they not prey on us? It makes total sense, which is why historically writers have made vampires hunt not out of survival or anti-social behaviour, but because they are PURE EVIL. It once again allows us to act out violent murder fantasies guilt-free.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a notable exception here, not because I think it was great TV (I don't), but because it dealt with a lot more issues than just chomping necks. Buffy was a young girl when she discovered her powers, and she goes through the same life problems that girls her age go through, vampire slayers or not.

The villains here were also more multi-dimensional - including Buffy's love interest Angel, the vampire with a heart of gold. (Blech.)

Buffy and Angel proving that opposites attract.

 

Fairy tale creatures

Thankfully, we don't have a lot of shows with unicorns running around but there are a few that are just as bad. Yep, I'm looking at you Grimm and Once Upon a Time, two examples of the TV network philosophy that if something works, then you should just do the exact same thing but slightly different.

Once Upon a Time is the story of a woman who stumbles into a city where no one ever leaves, and everyone has some fairy tale associated past but can't remember it. All your favourite characters are here in modern form, from Snow White to Pinnochio. Which begs the question: why?

I don't mean, why are they here / how did they get there? I mean, why should we care. They've taken interesting fairy tales and turned them into a generic mush of modern soap opera with a touch of impending doom. Yawn. Call me Sleeping Beauty, because this show is making me drowsy.

Grimm on the other hand has a more interesting plot. A cop discovers he's from an old race of monster-hunters known as Grimms. This calling allows him to see "people" as they really are: as straight-up humans, or as animals / creatures who pose as humans. Not all the creature-people are pure evil mind you. Many are petty criminals, reformed crooks, or just a little sleazy. But of course there are capital-E Evil ones, too, and it's Grimm's job to find them.

My issue with Grimm is that the very universe it takes place in doesn't seem as realistic as the special effects they put into the show. Namely, this fact: it is a deep secret that these creature-people (people-creatures?) and Grimms have existed for centuries. But humans are notoriously bad at keeping secrets, especially ones that would be this mindblowing. Somewhere along the line, one of those creatures would spill the beans, or one of the Grimms would have their own reality-TV show. That "ancient" secret would not be secret for long.

The shows I've mentioned in this list represent a lot of things I dislike on TV, but they are definitely not the worst of the worst. I mean, there's always "Reality" shows ... Game shows ...Daytime talk shows ... "Medical" advice shows ...  and more that I haven't even begun to talk about ... but I will.

Stay tuned for more.

Disagree with me because I dissed your favourite show? Leave a comment and let me know. Share this page with your friends, and don't forget to follow me on Twitter @ypsamgus

Comments

To post comments please
register or

28 Comments

Edna

22:24pm

Wow this is a good question! I've also been a fan since the Romero clacsiss. The thought of a zombie apocalypse also makes you wonder what you would do in a situation like that. If it came down to the old slow Romero zombies then I think the vampires have the upperhand on the slower moving zombies. Plus vampires have above human strength. I doubt they would bite a zombie since they would turn into ZOMBIE VAMPIRES!! :O I give the the vampires a win due to strength and speed.

Abdulrafiu

16:49pm

Posted on Vampires and Zombies can be friends! Your book is a fun read for<a href="http://khjqiqrpx.com"> annoye</a>, no matter what they fancy. Cute kittens? Hot girls? Cops who don't play by the rules but get results? ALL IN THERE.

Arjun Kumar

11:54am

Nice blog is posted. Thanks for share it .I really like this type of posts.
http://****vashikaranprediction.com/vashikaran.html
http://****vashikaranprediction.com/vashikaran-mantra-for-love.html
http://****vashikaranprediction.com/black-magic-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranprediction.com/love-problem-solution.html
http://****vashikaranprediction.com/Vashikaran-mantra-for-husband.html
http://****vashikaranprediction.com/vashikaran-learn.html

Vinod Kumar

14:56pm

Its very nice post .Thanks for share this kind of informative post.
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Vashikaran-Specialist.html
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Vashikaran-Mantra.html
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Vashikaran-Specialist-Baba.html
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Blackmagic-Specialist.html
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Lost-love-back-solution.html
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****astrologervinodkumar.com/Love-guru-specialist.html

Karan Sharma

17:14pm

Excellent article .Thanks to share this informative post with us .
http://****loveguruindia.com/vashikaran-mantra-in-hindi.html
http://****loveguruindia.com/love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****loveguruindia.com/world-famous-astrologer.html
http://****loveguruindia.com/vashikaran-marriage-love-spell.html
http://****loveguruindia.com/vashikaran-mantra.html
http://****loveguruindia.com/black-magic-specialist.html
http://****loveguruindia.com/vashikaran-specialist-baba.html

Vijay Sharma

18:35pm

Nice post it is . Thanks for share it .
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/love-marriage-problem-solution-by-vashi... Marriage Problem Solution By Vashikaran Mantra</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/Love-marriage-vashikaran-specialist-ast... Marriage Vashikaran Specialist</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/love-vashikaran-specialist-astrologer.p... Vashikaran Specialist Astrologer</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/husband-wife-relationship-problem-solut... Wife Relationship Problem Solution Baba Ji</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/lost-love-back-by-astrology.php">Lost Love Back By Astrology</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/Vashikaran-mantra-for-love-marriage-spe... Mantra For Love Marriage Specialist</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/love-vashikaran-specialist-astrologer.p... Vashikaran Specialist Astrologer</a>
<a href="http://astrologerguruinindia.com/Vashikaran-specialist-baba-Ji.php">Vash... Specialist Baba Ji</a>

Vijay Sharma

18:38pm

Nice post it is . Thanks for share it .
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/love-marriage-problem-solution-by-vashikaran-mantra.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/Love-marriage-vashikaran-specialist-astrologer.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/love-vashikaran-specialist-astrologer.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/husband-wife-relationship-problem-solution-baba-ji.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/lost-love-back-by-astrology.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/Vashikaran-mantra-for-love-marriage-specialist.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/love-vashikaran-specialist-astrologer.php
http://****astrologerguruinindia.com/Vashikaran-specialist-baba-Ji.php

astrologer a

14:33pm

Your post is much interesting and useful for us.

http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/intercaste-love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/vashikaran-mantra-for-love.html
http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/vashikaran-specialist.html

http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/love-marriage-specialist.html

astrologer a

14:35pm

Thanks for share that type blog. Many people like that blogs.

http://****vashikaranforallproblems.com/about.html
http://****vashikaranforallproblems.com/vashikaran-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranforallproblems.com/love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranforallproblems.com/black-magic-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranforallproblems.com/love-astrology.html
http://****vashikaranforallproblems.com/

astrologer a

14:36pm

thanks for sharing this i really appreciate this

http://****mkshastriji.com/black-magic-specialist-in-india.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-problem-solution.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-mantra.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/vashikaran-mantra-vidhi.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/intercast-marriage-problem.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-lost-back-by-vashikaran.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/vashikaran-specialist-in-gujrat-ahmedabad-surat.html

astrologer a

14:36pm

thanks for sharing this i really appreciate this

http://****mkshastriji.com/black-magic-specialist-in-india.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-problem-solution.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-mantra.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/vashikaran-mantra-vidhi.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/intercast-marriage-problem.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/love-lost-back-by-vashikaran.html
http://****mkshastriji.com/vashikaran-specialist-in-gujrat-ahmedabad-surat.html

astrologer a

15:11pm

thanks for sharing this i really appreciate this

http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/intercaste-love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/vashikaran-mantra-for-love.html
http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/vashikaran-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/love-marriage-specialist.html
http://****vashikaranmantraforlovemarriage.com/vashikaran-mantra-for-husband.html

Mahi Sharam

15:25pm

I am visiting first time to your blog awesome post you have written, thank for sharing..
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/black-magic-specialist/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/how-to-get-back-lost-love/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/islamic-kala-jadu-specialist/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/get-love-back-by-dua/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/bad-spirit-removal/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/muslim-black-magic-expert/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/love-problem-solution-by-ibadat/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/muslim-kala-jadu/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/dua-to-remove-black-magic/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/tag/islamic-mantra-for-love-marriage/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/amal-for-love-marriage/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/free-muslim-vashikaran-mantra/
http://****muslimmaulana786.com/wazaif-for-marriage/

Ninador dev

16:58pm

Interesting article share and this blog is impresses more people to reading that blog.
http://****muslimmolana.com/famous-muslim-astrologer/
http://****muslimmolana.com/muslim-vashikaran-specialist/
http://****muslimmolana.com/girl-vashikaran-specialist/
http://****muslimmolana.com/islamic-voodoo-spell/
http://****muslimmolana.com/islamic-black-magic-specialist/
http://****muslimmolana.com/muslim-kala-jadu/

Lucky sharma

20:02pm

Many thanks for including my blog on your list. You are definitely one of my favorites! If you or your other followers are interested..
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/">Love marriage specialist </a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Girl-vashikaran-specialist.php">Girl Vashikaran specialist</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Vashikaran-mantra-in-hindi.php">Vashikaran mantra in Hindi</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Vashikaran-astrologer-online.php">Vashikaran astrologer online</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Free-vashikaran-mantra-in-india.php">Free Vashikaran mantra in India</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Mohini-vashikaran-mantra-for-girl.php">Mohini Vashikaran mantra for girl</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Get-love-back-by-black-magic.php">Get love back by black magic</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Husband-and-wife-problem-solution.php">Husband and wife problem solution</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Divorce-problems-solution.php">Divorce problems solution</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/Love-marriage-specialist-astrologer.php">Love marriage specialist astrologer</a>
<a href="http://****lovemarriagespecialistinuk.com/how-to-get-my-love-back.php">how to get my love back</a>

Kuldeep Sharma

13:32pm

Nice blog is posted. Thanks for share it .I really like this type of posts.
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/ludhiana.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/jalandhar.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/chandigarh.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/tamilnadu.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/chennai.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/andhrapradesh.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/hyderabad.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/canada.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/uk.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/usa.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/uae.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/london.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/australia.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/dubai.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/italy.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/newzealand.php
http://****astrologerkuldeepsharma.com/love_problem_specialist/Pakistan.php

Anju Rai

14:12pm

Nice article. Think so new form of features have included in your article. Waiting for your next article.
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/Love-marriage-specialist-astrologer.php
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/mantra-for-love.php
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/Get-lost-love-back-by-vashikaran.php
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/Get-my-ex-love-back.php
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/Online-vashikaran-mantra.php
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/vashikaran-mantra-for-husband-wife.php
http://****solvelovemarriage.com/powerfull-vashikaran-mantra-for-love.php

Bhavna Singh

14:40pm

Excellent post.Thanks for sharing this message.Really,Your blog is not only instructive but useful too.
http://****onlyloveastrology.com/love-marriage-specialist-astrologer.php
http://****onlyloveastrology.com/lost-love-back-by-astrology.php
http://****onlyloveastrology.com/breakup-problem-solution-and-advice.php
http://****onlyloveastrology.com/bring-lost-love-back-spells.php
http://****onlyloveastrology.com/how-to-get-ex-boyfriend-girlfriend-back.php

astrologer a

15:14pm

Great post!! Really you share a impressive blog with us......

http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-india.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-jaipur.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-ahmedabad.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-amritsar.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-chandigarh.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-mumbai.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-nasik.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-noida.html
http://****astrologersanjaysharma.com/vashikaran-specialist/vashikaran-specialist-in-bhopal.html

hero bayan

04:23am

Love Marriage S...

17:15pm

We are specialist in Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra, Vashikaran Specialist, Vashikaran Mantra for Love, Love Marriage Specialist, Black Magic Specialist, Get Your Love Back by Astrology, Shabar Mantra, Astrology Prediction, Astrology Specialist, Lal Kitab Expert, Mohini Vashikaran Mantra. We are provided kamdev vashikaran mantra in hindi and kamdev vashikaran mantra vidhi. Call now on 91-9953979533.
<a href="http://vashikaranastro.com">Vashikaran Specialist</a>,
http://vashikaranastro.com/kamdev-vashikaran-mantra.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/vashikaran-mantra-for-love.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/love-marriage-specialist.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/black-magic-specialist.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/get-your-love-back-by-astrology.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/shabar-mantra-for-success.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/astrology-specialist.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/lal-kitab-expert.html
http://vashikaranastro.com/mohini-vashikaran-mantra.html
So if you want solution of your problems and live peace full life then Vashikaran Specialist is best option for you.