The Expendables gang is back with more star power, more firepower and not much else [Review]

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By Sam Gusway
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By Sam Gusway |
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Sylvester Stallone is back in action with his old (and I do mean "old") buddies. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger hauls his haggard corpse onto the screen.

If you love drama and award-wining acting … you might want to watch something else. This movie is all about bang bang bang. Bang pow punch bang. Pow crash kaboom, Wesley Snipes?!? Bang, bang ka-bang pow. Inside joke.

Basically in the "story", the team bang bang, rat-a-tat-tat boom, kaboom bang, Mel Gibson bad! Bang bang, one-liner, kaboom pop pow pow. Oh no, Terry Crews! Remorse, Arnie wheezing.

Then they punch punch smack, punch kick kaboom, pow, new team! Vroom, danger bad guy, one-liner, punch stab punch bang. Ambush!

Of course, the old team boom kaboom pow. One-liner. Trapped! Hacking mainframe, hacking hacking. Boom kaboom kaboom. Antonio Banderas "comic" relief, bang bang. Shooting guns sideways, kaboom pow pow, dislocated shoulder. Blam blam kapow, blam boom. Ba-ba-ba-boom! Han Solo! Rat-a-tat-tat kaboom. Mano-a-mano, ka-ba-BOOM! KA-BOOOOM! Implosion.

Expendables 3, bang bang kapow, buddies, one-liner.

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