Script: Blowing your own trumpet

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If someone blows their own trumpet, they boast about their talents and achievements. They never stop telling you how good they are at doing something. These two conversations are about two people who have been blowing their own trumpet.

John Millen |
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Conversation one

Anna: I didn’t really enjoy playing doubles tonight, Tom. I wish we’d said ‘no’ when Paul asked us. I know he thought it would help improve our game - playing with another pair, but I didn't enjoy it at all.

Tom: You did look a bit grumpy. It’s unlike you to play so impatiently. I thought you were just feeling a bit off, or something.

Anna: No. I felt great until Paul introduced us to our opponents. I knew straight away that it wasn't going to work out. Fiona was okay, but the guy - Simon - what a pain in the neck!

Tom: I think he quite liked you! He was keen to play doubles with us again next week.

Anna: Well, he can go take a running jump! What a creep! All he did was blow his own trumpet every time he opened his mouth.

Tom: Yes, he did like the sound of his own voice, I admit.

Anna: I’ve never heard anyone boast as much as he did! Under-sixteen schools swimming champion, under-sixteen golf champion, three cups for tennis, five medals for rugby. He didn’t give us the chance to say anything.

Tom: You’re right. I don’t want to play with him again. If Paul suggests it next week, we will say we can’t.

Conversation two

Harry: Thank goodness she’s gone! I was really getting fed up of her yakking.

Abby: I thought you liked Tracey. It was you who invited her to have coffee with us.

Harry: I’d forgotten what a bore she is. She never used to be like that. She just sat there for the last half hour bragging about how good she is cooking this and baking that. Her coffee went cold before she stopped long enough to take a sip.

Abby: You’ve got to admit, though, that she’s a very good cook. You didn’t complain when she made you that delicious cake for your birthday.

Harry: I’m not saying anything about her cooking skills. She’s brilliant! But why does she have to blow her own trumpet about it all the time? I don’t want to know about the “amaaazing” lemon pie she made last night, or the recipe for the incredible mango cupcakes that she devised.

Abby: I bet you’d like to eat them though!

Harry: That's not the point. I just don't like show offs.

Abby: I was thinking about asking Tracey to bake a cake for my grand parents' Golden Wedding anniversary in July. They met just before the Cultural Revolution. Do you think I should?

Harry: Why not? It will be cheaper than getting one done professionally.

Abby: What a thing to say! I'm not trying to save money! I think she would do a good job.

Harry: Yes, she would. And it would give her something more to blow her own trumpet about. All this talk of cakes has made me hungry. Do you fancy another coffee and a slice of cheesecake?

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