Voice: Do you know what the expression 'to be as useful as a chocolate teapot' means? Think about it. A teapot made of chocolate would melt as soon as hot water was poured into it, so it would be of no use whatsover. If you say that you are 'as useful as a chocolate teapot' when it cause to something, it means you are completely useless.
Paul: Hello. I'm Paul. I have to admit that I'm as useful as a chocolate teapot when it comes to reading maps. Give me a map and ask me to find a place or follow directions, and I’m a waste of time. Last year, my girlfriend and I went on a driving holiday to Australia. My poor girlfriend didn't know what she was letting herself in for. She likes driving so we agreed she would be the main driver and I would be the navigator. But after a couple of days, we were getting lost all the time and taking wrong roads. That made us argue a lot. So we changed jobs. I drove and my girlfriend took over map reading. She is going to buy me a GPS for my birthday.
Maggie: Hi, I'm Maggie. I'm as useful as a chocolate teapot in terms of doing jobs around the flat. You know, DIY, or do it yourself. Well, I can't! And I hate asking anyone to help me when it's only a little job that needs doing. The other day I changed a plug on the reading lamp in my bedroom. I know you have to be careful when you are doing this. I had bought a cute red plug at a market and thought it would look good. That's a silly reason for changing a plug, but I decided to do it. I followed the instructions very carefully, and I thought I'd put the wires in the right places. I finished the job and plugged it in. I felt very proud of myself. I switched the lamp on, and guess what? The light bulb exploded and all the lights in the flat went out. I had to call an electrician. Now I know I shouldn't trust myself when it comes to have repairs!
Vincent: Hello, I'm Vincent. I 'm really ashamed to admit this, but I am as useful as a chocolate teapot when you put a camera in my hands. My mum bought me an quite expensive DSLR for my birthday, and we was told that it was a good camera but very simple to use. It had auto-focus and auto everything else. The man in the shop said that even a monkey could work it. He was wrong! On Saturday morning I went down to the harbour to take some landscapes. I took about fifty shots. When I got home and put them on my PC, there were only three that were any good. All the others were blurred, out of focus or just boring. I was so disappointed with my efforts. I'm thinking about giving the camera to my brother. I don't know why I let my mum buy it for me in the first place.